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A Conversation In Target by Ray Printer Friendly

“I might be a bad person.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I don’t know—just little things I do. Like, you know how there are pregnant women all over the place today? Like, everywhere?”

“Yeah.”

“I just now had to fight the urge to go up to one and take a picture of her belly with my camera phone and go, ‘Now I’ve captured your baby’s soul.’ And then run away real fast.

“Or, like, I saw this little girl with her mother in the cat food section, and I wanted to go up and ask the girl, ‘So what’s your favorite flavor, honey?’ You know, because it implies that children eat cat food, like they’re animals.”

“Yeah, I got it.”

“Oh. It’s just that I noticed you weren’t laughing, which is why I explained it.”

“I was trying to figure out why I married you.”

“The real question is why in the world you would ever think about reproducing with me. I could’ve suckered anyone into marrying me—I’m a pimp like that. I can’t figure out why you’d abide by the commitment you made.”

“You’re right about being a bad person.”

“Thought so.”


posted 6/08/08


Comments:
Entered By Carey From TX
2008-06-08 16:06:38

You are definitely a goofball Ray but I am not sure I can credit you for being a bad person. The fact that you recognize your evil tendencies but don't act on them makes you a nicer guy then you give yourself credit for. And btw, pregnant moms may look fragile but will kick your ass if you give them shit...blame it on the extra hormones :)


Entered By Ray From Austin
2008-06-08 17:08:51

Pregnant chicks scare me on so many levels...



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